I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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