But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
it's like iHOP with fire
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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