you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
