Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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