even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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