i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
