This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
