Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
