yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
