curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
