I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.