I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.