In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize