Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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