i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we're making bets on your personal life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
