$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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