he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
