oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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