you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
