I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize