its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
