Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
