do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
