in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize