He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
