You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pants are for mortals
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
