check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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