So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize