I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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