cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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