Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
