Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's never too late to be topless.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
