On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
