not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
