you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
