I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize
