if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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