The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just pee around me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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