God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
