This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
