I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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