wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
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So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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