guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
