I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
