I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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