Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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