like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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