Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
bring money and cleavage
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
