Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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