Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
