She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i now understand why vodka
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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