My sheets look like a crime scene.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
