SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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