Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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