If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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