It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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