Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
