dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
