see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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