so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
