piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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