You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
