He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
