I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
