No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
