This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
