hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
