just tell him i said nine months
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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